when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people
This won’t happen for another 1,000 years
You forgot the legendary 11-11-11, and not so important 12-12-12
^_^ mhm i’ve been there on those years
has this been done yet
Future cat lady palace
What I want my house to look like.
Okay but how do you clean all that? Does it come with an anti-gravity roomba?
guys remember when Lemony Snicket filled an entire page with evers?
Who cares about the page filled with evers? Lemony Snicket just made two whole pages black.
He don’t give a shit.
And that time he repeated an entire passage about deja vu to give the reader deja vu
What a serious of unnecessary events
Anonymous asked: does sex hurt more if you've never masturbated before?
life hurts more if you’ve never masturbated
"you’re an adult now"
"you need to choose a career"
"you need to make your own doctor’s appointment"
"stop wearing those stupid animal costumes"
thank you jontron
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